Self Image & Body Image

It’s all too common to feel uncomfortable in your body

There’s a book called Living With Your Body And Other Things You Hate, and it keeps company with many more aimed at helping with body image, self image and self-esteem. If you struggle with feeling good about yourself or your body, you are very much not alone.

We live in a world rampant with messages about how you’re not enough the way you are – that you should be more, do more, loose weight, gain weight, be smarter, be quieter, be bolder. It goes on and on.

These messages come from the impersonal outside world through the media, advertising, entertainment and so on. They also come from within our families, communities and social circles. Some of them are bold and explicit, while others lie beneath the surface, unspoken but powerful.

Not liking yourself can be a shameful secret

While it is common to have struggles with not feeling good about yourself, it can also be something that you keep to yourself and keep hidden. You may be embarrassed or feel that it’s not okay to admit your insecurities or vulnerability.

On the surface it may even seem that you have confidence and there may be many parts of you that you do like and feel good about. But when you have deeper feelings that you are in some ways not enough, this can be painful and color the rest of your experience.

Not feeling good about yourself takes a toll

When you carry the weight of not feeling good about who you are or feeling dissatisfied with your body, whether it’s subtle or fierce, it holds you back. It restricts your ability to dive into doing the things you want with freedom and pleasure. It makes relationships harder and feel less comfortable. And it can make you feel less like who you really are.

When you don’t feel that you are good enough in some way, you can live with an underlying pressure that you have to prove yourself, do more, work harder or fix everything. You may struggle with blatant or disguised perfectionism and feel that you’ll never get anything done unless you are hard on yourself.

Your body is your home, and it knows how you feel about yourself. It feels any negative vibes you have and responds to them. On the outside, this can affect your posture and the way you move through your environment. On the inside, it can cause tension, unease, anxiety, or a sense of feeling small or insignificant.

Let’s highlight some of the self and body image issues that we can help with:

Learning that being highly sensitive is a gift and makes you exceptional, not lacking

When you are highly sensitive or emphatic, you can be vulnerable to messages that you are not okay the way you are and make you doubt yourself. Learning to value your unique strengths frees you to value and protect who you are.

Appreciating your differences and finding your own community for support

When you feel different than others, it’s easy to withdraw into a shell to protect yourself from teasing or shaming. Self-compassion can help you value yourself and learn to make connections with others who will accept and love you.

Reclaiming trust and enjoyment of yourself and you body when you are a trauma survivor

Trauma can steal your sense of yourself, make you think you have done something wrong, and make you distrust your body. As you heal, you can reconnect with yourself, feel safe and empowered, and feel at home in your body.

Rebuilding a positive relationship with food, eating, and your body as you recover from an eating disorder

Eating disorders mirror a distorted sense of self and body and negative self-perception can haunt you. Regenerating a new relationship with yourself that is kind, loving, and peaceful is part of the healing process.

Developing a sense of ease with sexual or gender identity

Sexual orientation or gender identity questions make it hard to feel at home in yourself and lead to hiding yourself from others. As you learn what is true for you and find ways to express yourself that feel right, you can gain more comfort in yourself and your own body.

Finding ways to stay connected to yourself in the face of physical, emotional or relational change

You can lose sight of yourself when confronted with life changes or obstacles. Cultivating care and kindness toward yourself can help you navigate hurdles and remain true to yourself.